In the United Kingdom, interracial relationships are growing and particularly within the last ten years. According to one source, interracial households jumped up 35 percent over the past ten years, and there are estimated to be 2.3 million in the UK living with a member of another race or ethnicity. Mixed race relationships also increased dramatically over the past ten years and one in ten people overall are living with a person outside their own ethnic group. The casual flings number must be even higher!
Of course, while it’s relatively easy to start an interracial relationship, it’s not always easy to make it work for the long-term. What goes wrong? It could be any number of things. Family pressure, competition from more than one potential partner, or simply a lack of chemistry after the first few dates—all of these scenarios are possible.
However, by reading up some of the most common problems identified with interracial dating in the UK, you may be able to spot the red flags early on and protect a relationship that is very special to your heart.
1.Analyze how and why you feel about your relationship.
We tend to think that people in interracial romances have a special “awareness” of themselves, but it is often not true. Have you ever wondered why you are attracted to somebody—physically and mentally? Furthermore, why do people’s expressions of racism actually bother you? What can happen is that we will become upset at someone else’s rude behavior, because our own identity is being questions. Or because they raise questions that we are not quite sure of what the answer is. We are challenged by their attitude. This is something you should be able to talk about rationally with your partner, so that you can understand yourself, your community, and what is actually happening inside your own head. Once you do this and it’s out in the open, you will feel less anxiety about what other people say or think.
2.Prepare to meet the parents.
When it’s time to introduce your partner to mother and father, then it’s best you talk with each other and “prepare” them to meet your families. One common problem is that the interracial partner enters the situation, having no idea what he’s about to encounter. Is mother or father feeling funny about UK interracial dating? Does father joke quite a bit, which could be misconstrued by your partner? Does mother sometimes seem like she’s upset when she’s not? These are all subtle things that can interfere with the relationships you will have with your partner’s family. Discuss your parents and siblings and try to prep your date with the information they need before the big meeting.
3.Don’t let first impressions influence you.
It’s only human to think the best or worst of someone based upon their first impressions. However, family very often tends to take first impressions too seriously. So learn to be patient with family members whose prejudice (usually very subtle and not outright) tends to show. Nothing is accomplished by becoming angry, alienating family, and making your partner feel bad about all the family drama. Cool heads will always prevail.